Is this it?

I think I'm losing it. These days all I do is wake up, go to work, come back from work, do some unfinished work, eat, go to sleep, wake up, go to work, come back from work, do some more unfinished work, and repeat the whole sentence again. Yes, it's beyond boring! I hate to think that this was what I wanted to do when I was applying for the job. Work has consumed me inside out. I don't even have time to call home and talk to my parents. I used to call my mom every single day when I was at uni. I was very lucky that they were with me when I started this job, so I talked to them every single day. And then they went home. I'm lucky if I can speak to my mom once/twice a week these days. It's that bad.

I keep on asking myself, is this what I want to do? Not having anything else in life except work? I have some weekend life if I make an effort to go to London. But after having some good laugh, the journey back to Luton is just soo sad. Back to reality and I hate that feeling. It's the same feeling I had when I was at KYS, in the car, near the taman rama2, after a long holiday, or a weekend away. The same feeling. It's just that this time, there were strangers on the train, and I am in a different country. But same feeling nevertheless.

I really shouldn't be too ungrateful. I wanted this job. I prayed and worked hard for it. Allah gave me what I asked. Alhamdulillah. But now I realised it's really not something I want to do for the rest of my life. I can't stand the fact that I'm not doing anything to benefit anyone except the partners who're making lots of money so that they can buy the next model of Maserati.