Not a happy note..

Have you ever felt like you don't belong? I thought I wouldn't ever feel that way again after I left high school. Yes believe it or not, there were soooo many times when I was in high school I felt like I didn't belong there. This blog has never been a place for me to show my 'other' darker sides, but this will change in this entry...

I was offerred a place at Kys after somebody didn't turn up for her place, can't remember her name now, but the late Mr Ramli Maidin was very kind to offer me a place on that fateful Sunday night on the phone to my dad. Despite everything, I can never thank him enough..

But I didn't try to fit in. I got along with some people, had issues with a few, made some good friends, and did mostly my own things, especially so when I was in Form 3-Form 5. I did not study in the same prep room with my peers for PMR and SPM, found it less condusive to do so. So I set up my study table with the juniors. Thats where I spent most of my time, eating, even sleeping at weekends and doing Yoga! Allah answered my prayers, and I got what I wanted, 8As in PMR and 9A1s in SPM. Alhamdulillah..

And then college. I didn't feel so out of place here cos I felt like I earned a place there although again, I got the scholarship after someone pulled out, she was even in my class at college and was under a different scholarship. But I believe in rezeki, so I worked my ar*e off for A Levels. Maybe I didn't work as hard as I should have, even then I felt I had worked harder at SPM, but alhamdulillah, I managed to get a place at the university of my choice here.

Warwick was the best place, I felt totally at ease with myself. Although I got along fine with everyone, I didn't have a best friend. I was a bit of a loner really. I just didn't share the same taste in terms of activities as some other people. And I did think some people might even find me hard to handle. Anyway, I did work hard at university, and alhamdulillah managed to get a good grade in final year. My university years, are by far the best experience in my life. I got a job at the Warw**k Arts Cen**e, and only after 8 months working I was promoted to Head Steward, so I was already managing almost 16 stewards on a busy night when I was only a second year. I really enjoyed the experience..

Now working for a big company, there are some times when I just feel out of my comfort zone, no friends, just acquaintances, and no-one to turn to when it gets a bit too much. I'm on training at the moment, and the activities are quite intense sometimes. I always looked forward to quizzes cos I could feel myself challenged, but since some people give a weird look if you try too hard, I often find myself trying not to answer everytime. Thank God there's another guy who always tries to get all the points for his team. you won't believe how some ppl gave him the look! It feels like you're in primary classroom and the boys were tired of the girl incessant question! hahahaahhah. This is a true story actually, but it wasn't me! Well maybe that deserves another blog post.

Anyway, something happened today that made me feel quite embarrassed and out of place. When the instructor called somebody from my table to volunteer for a tie-breaker with another team, mind you I have contributed a lot for the team with the points, and its always only me and this other guy in the team that answered the quizzes, the other guys and girls seemed very uninterested. Oh don't let me start of the Irish guy called Mikey he was not only racist, he keeps using foul language whenever he's not happy with something which can be pretty much about anything! He is so rude, when he came in the first day, he didn't even bother introducing himself, and the other day when he was trying to catch up with the rest of the class and was asking for the password, he ignored me when all I did was try and help him! So rude!! Anyway, I thought to myself, I don't have to try and make him like me, he can go to **ll for all I care!

Ah malas nak type lagi. Nak mandi. bye.

Kebetulan... (orang lain takkan paham ni)...

Ada cerita di sebalik ni.. First cut is the deepest they say. Can't agree more.

Mimpi aneh

Maka pada suatu hari inilah mimpinya:

Someone told me that I had to go to Rio De Janeiro, it was a short notice and I was a bit panicky. In the dream I didn't know where Rio de Janeiro was, so when someone asked where it was I said 'oh somewhere near America'. And then (out of nowhere), still in my dream, a friend from high school said 'No, it's in Brazil'.

When I woke up, I was thinking to myself: Do I really know where Rio de Janeiro is? No. Then how come I can actually come up with a correct answer, albeit through a different character??? and all day at work I was thinking about this dream and I checked google, it is Brazil!

So how did I know the answer in my dream??? Weird....

Mimpi hanyalah mainan tidur.... tapi saya sangat suka kalau mimpi...hehehe