Old flame

My old flame is engaged to be married! I guess I expected it to come sooner or later. Who was I kidding, we never made any promise, so the inevitable is here whether I like it or not. Yes, deep down I still have the same feelings, but I am a coward and always have been when it comes to relationships. Plus, sparks are not enough to make a fire last when the wind's too strong.

Maybe God had planned it this way, for me not to know it earlier is a blessing in disguise, it would have affected me even more if I knew it two months ago, when I was very vulnerable emotionally.

So he's engaged, and I am not dreaming it, all it took was one sentence and all was revealed. So what do I say? What do I do? Thank God for YM! You can't tell my expressions! I was numb for a few deafening seconds and then I said what other sensible people would say when told such news. But if you knew me, you'd say I was lying. Was I? God knows.

It was too much to bear, so I said my goodbye and wish secretly he'd know my feelings. The truth is he never will. The distance is too great. No bridge would be able to connect it. 11 years. God has it been that long? I have told myself time and time again to move on, so don't say I never tried. I've always been a loyal person. So there's no exception here. But I believe in destiny so mine will come maybe not in the form of the person who I've been loyal to for more than a decade. But he will come.